Pengantin lama & Mummy to be

I married the man I love close to seven months now. Been meaning to write earlier but never had the kerajinan to :) Officially migrated to a new home in Kuantan, seems like I'll be living here for a while. Husband is very kind to provide us with a lovely home by the beach. Here's a photo of us during the Groom's reception.

Yes, definitely the happiest moment of my life. And things doesn't just stop there, Alhamdulillah, I'm 9 weeks pregnant now and expecting in September, yayyyyy! It's hard to believe that we're going to be parents. Sometimes I still freak out because I can't find a matching hijab to go with my outfit, or I'm too tired to cook and eat out at the same time. But a baby? Hehehe, we'll learn along the way, like everyone else do. My first pregnancy survived for 5 weeks, and it took us by surprise. The miscarriage brought us more grief than we expected. But it was a smooth sailing 5 weeks. Unlike this one, baby bubu keeps making me dizzy and nausea, hehe, but it's okay. Daddy says it means that the baby is healthy inside, I hope so. Here's a photo of a 1.97cm baby :)

I am also enrolled in a part-time MBA program, and this is my 3rd most difficult semester so far. It's hard in a sense that morning (or all day) sickness is taking over everything. I find it hard to read journals, focus is class, and do my homework. I'm also lazier to check my phone for group discussion (ahhhh bad!) and all I wanna do is sleeeeeep. It's okay, I'm gathering the strength now, bit by bit. Mid-term is approaching and I need to brush up like asap!

Work has been kind to me for the past few months, since my marriage actually, I manage to get home by sunset most of the time, Alhamdulillah :) I really wish I can visit my family in India by the end of semester on April, will it be safe for me to travel then? It's been a while, and sometimes I meet them in my dreams.

May '14 Life Update

Hi :)

Been a while since a real life update here. Alhamdulillah, I've been accepted and registered to a nearby University to my home-to-be and current workplace in their MBA program. I'm a part-time student during (some) weeknights and Saturdays. I get Saturdays off from work without affecting my AL, yayy! So I have to travel about for 30 minutes to school from the house that I'm renting now and it'll be almost to an hour from where I'll be living soon.

Work is under control, not as exhausting as last year. I can honestly say I can adapt here, it finally feels... effortlessly mine. Yup, in a good way. Hoping to do more and learn more. There's so much more that I still don't know. Apart from the actual technical work, I learned a lot on how to deal with people. And how to control my feelings, anger mostly.

I am blessed, with every achievement and givings. I'm in debt with the loveliest people in a way that I cannot repay. But I do keep in mind that life is an inevitable karma. "Have you ever felt so happy, then a second later you're scared because you bad things might happen right after?" - Abby. Yes, B-love, I feel you.

And another thing. Please pray for the wedding to go smoothly and marriage to last. I have never felt this way. Thank you, readers.

P/s: This is probably the only written diary I have for keepsake. I destroyed my hard copy diary during my dramatic (only in my head) teen years when I thought that I hated life. Heheheh.

Lets re-visit this http://syueee.blogspot.com/2014/02/investment-of-trust.html

Highlight of this year.

Hello, its the last 1.43am of 2013 and thanks to a long evening nap I'm wide awake now. I know I'd look back to each passing year reminiscing the highlight of it. The road not taken yet is full of thrilling possibilities and frankly I'm not sure to be eager or scared.

Alhamdulillah, new friendship buds and I'm as grown up as I can afford to be ;) Learning never stops in any branch that I decide to reach. Family has been far and distance is never easy, but there is never a stronger bond than blood. Not just to fall back to when times are bad, but to share the happiness from little joys to significant achievements.

And I (and my significant other) & our families decided to mark the end of the year with an engagement. I'm engaged to a dear friend whom I trust to give and share my whole future with. I'm still overwhelmed by our meeting and so forth and whatever that will come next. Here's to everything that's worth in this world and may the future union be the best for both, dunia and akhirat.

To each falling, there is hikmah, and so everyone keeps reminding me that (thank you!) and now I'm reminding you and myself. Always be grateful of the countless blessings; something that is so easy to slip from our minds. A simple act of sincere smiling would spread a ray of sunshine on others. Be positive, set your mind to turn into an optimist. And ask for forgiveness, from the Almighty and other beings.

Remind me if I ever get my heads up too high. Good night :)

Home alone

Salam and Hello :)

I wrote something at the airport yesterday and saved it on my computer. But since my computer, camera and other important belongings (in a bag) got stuck in DC yesterday, I'll update that post later on.

Being alone with limited people to reach (due to time difference or limited technological resources) turns me to blogging. The very purpose of me creating this space to myself. If this page is idle for long, it means that I'm either very content, busy, I have people around to share or worst case scenario, dead.

Anyway, dad is at work and I've explore what I could in this apartment. It's facing the sea, I love it when I get to see water :) This place has touches of mum all over: honey jar, serunding, candles and tiny bowls/glasses with sweets, paper clips, coins all in places messed up by dad mixing coins and candies together, hehe. Can't wait to hug mum.

I miss USA. Thank you for sending me off dear friends. Rasa macam taknak gerak from the escalator, it was so hard to leave. But life goes on. Rindunya mereka-mereka semua. Rindunya road trips, EB, the weather. Dad says I have to get a job in 6 months top or else tak laku. InsyaAllah will try my best when I get back. I haven't had an alone time in so long. And now I can't stop thinking about everything. Every single thing, in a good way. I'll try to be better, I promise.

Will start traveling again tomorrow. Dad said he wants to take me to the places where he'd taken the family. Yayyy! I'm blessed. Oh and he said "kiss Abah" at the airport yesterday. Terharu pulak. Unconditional love from parents ftw :3

That's it for now, take care.

Oh, this is our new cat Phineas. I can't wait to meet this handsome lad.

A diary-like post

Wow, new and improved blogger.com. Might take a while for me to get better with new tools.

Reminiscing the time when I pour my heart out on pages after pages. It felt really good, only God knows how much.

Anyway, I had an insightful chat with a few friends yesterday. Reminds me of things that I should always remember. I'm glad I have friends that remind me of good things just by their presence.

I miss my parents, siblings, aunts, grandparents, uncles, cousins and friends back home. I've overcome that sorrow feeling whenever I miss them. This apartment and the engineering building have grown on me. I love having my own place and being (almost) independent. But it may be a bit nicer if America is at somewhere near India. Sigh.

Btw, I'm really trying to work things out this semester, as in getting a minimum of 3.5 in every course and working with a professor. I'm in the process helping my Computer-Aided Manufacturing professor in his research but I have to go through a 3-4 weeks unpaid training, so let's hope that won't be too bumpy.

And I'm all excited for my winter trip to the west coast. It's gonna be awesome! :D

Hope Sadia will come home soon cos Spartan Village is so quiet after the sun sets it drives me crazy when i don't have homework to do (or don't know how to).

Good night wild bunnies who only hop around at night. I wish you guys aren't that shy so I can take a few pictures ♡

Photo Pieces

Spartan Malaya

Blue Monster at Feeqa's mum's place

Darling Kayrone

Taylorians that I miss!

Doodle

Lovely girls

From Amira's tumblr.

Quit wanting, complaining, asking, taking.

"It's a beautiful day today, don't you think?"

Good morning :)

I'm still appreciating the sun, which is outshining the coldness that was haunting the early May. My apartment is now not as ghostly and quiet with the addition of two girls (sadly, for a while). Summer classes had started, which means one step closer to home. Looking forward to home more than ever now.

About two weeks ago, drenched with self-disappointment, I dragged my feet out of the door for a long-planned New York road trip with 3 other amazing friends and all my sorrows were gradually forgotten.

The trip was shocking at first, with the tall buildings, busy streets, rude people, expensive food etc. (macam rusa masuk kampung) but as it went by, we had each other and great companion is what matters the most despite of being yelled at, getting lost multiple times, gotten onto the wrong subway, driving in the pouring rain at night and experiencing the ultimate sore feet. We visited the Madame Tussauds Wax Museum, Bodies The Exhibition Home, Central Park, Empire State Building, Ground Zero, Statue of Liberty, Circle Line Cruise, American Museum of Natural History, Rockefeller Tower, SoHo, Chinatown, Malaysian Restaurants and Stevens Institute of Technology in NJ.

Pattinson ;)

Casey and Spongebob

I forgot the name of this bridge

Manhattan from above

Dusk

Aliff and "LOVE"

Syamil and Trump

Me and the green lady

Family photo #1

Liberty Island

Cendols

(Oops I forgot to rotate)

T-rex

Central park

Coolness :)

Times Square

Family Photo #2

The endless laughter, jokes and good food are what I will treasure in my memoir. Effortless friendship is just priceless and something that I do not wish to end. Yes, it was awesome indeed. We ended the trip a day earlier than planned only to visit The Great Lakes Crossing Outlets to shop out heart out. At least, I did.

Summer has come again, per say, and it's the season where people spend most of their times outdoor, appreciating the nikmat of daylight and sun that is given; sports, walks, picnics, you name it. And I'm about to attend my first picnic party of this summer today :) Alas, summer classes would be a little pain with endless readings, writings and lab reports. But things will (hopefully) work out just fine.

Let's get to work!

Clock is ticking

It's only 9.39am, a beautiful Friday morning and I'm having this Friday-laziness disease. So I'm crapping here instead of studying, okay lima minit.

The FedEx lady woke me up this morning, asking for my apartment number because I didn't write it, blame google form auto fill. She also apologized for waking me up. Ehem, malunya.

And thanks for waking me up FedEx lady cos I was already late for class! Yup, I missed the part where Dr. Mukkamala was explaining what's coming out for finals next week.

Sister tweeted that she and mum watched the royal wedding from beginning to end. Okay I'm awfully jealous. I want to watch it with mum but instead I'm watching it in this half-empty building (because today is Design Day and most engineering majors are at the Union now), sipping lo-carb monster. Oh well.

Ain't she pretty? :)

Okay this is totally unrelated but this is my cute cousin that I haven't met yet. I can't wait to go home and meet everyone and meet new family members! (Newborns, newly weds, etc)

Syasya Wawa, I forgot her full name. Comel kan? :D

I told myself last night that I the next blogspot would be a happy post. Fail gila. If I'm happy I'd probably tweet it and call my friends instead of writing it here. Um, maybe I would. But kalau stress, blog je lah yang layan. Okay 5 minutes is up. Bye!

One last thing, we won the awards! :D :D

Special thanks to Aizat & Hafidz, pleasure working with both of you guys; the committee members of MN you guys rock!; MSO eboard members, Azan Nadiah Kamila Nizam Mas and all!; all MSO members who particpated, supported, sacrificed time; OISS, MSD and MSO for the funding sorry for using so much money!

See, that's a happy section of the post :)

Monday Blues

Snow came back, uninvited or not, what the heck. Managed to wear 3 different pairs of sneakers in the past 3 days and that's it. But it's okay, I won't get to wear boots no more in Malaysia.

Pain in the head, stomach and heart, but I forced myself to get out of bed at 7.00am to catch the bus at 7.33am for my 8.00am class only to find out that the professor canceled the class at 7.15am due to the heavy snow. Oh yes, I was angry.
"We could be the only 4 dumbest people who doesn't know that the class is canceled" - Butterfield.
Laughs.

Cold coffee. As a result of being late. Didn't have time to wait for the water to boil at 100C.

So that's the the update of my boring life.
The weekend was both the worst and best weekend ever.

I can never really say what I wanna say. Always ended up in my draft folder, and get deleted after a couple of days. Screw this I'm off. Have maths to do, okay bye!

Very personal

"GO GREEEEEEEN!"

and you say, "GO WHITE!"

check out my cool Spartan beads :)

Spartan Spirit

I went to my first official MSU game, and it was volleyball, and it was awesome, very intense and satisfying. We won! :) Hehe. Alhamdulillah, great friends, a good time, stress relieving event. I still wish some of us could be there but it's okay. Maybe next time.

Busy

I promise, I'm not kidding. I actually have a daily planner (free from MSUFCU) this time to keep my head sane. There are just so many things to do, it drives me crazy sometimes. But I still try to get  good night sleep at the end of the day. Sorry Sarah, kakak tak skype selalu.

Commitment

As a student, a part of a society and community. Why do I volunteer? Because it makes me happy, it makes me feel like someone who's significant (I hate it when I'm invisible), it gives me an important and beneficial purpose to do things other than studying.

Work

I'm a sub. HAHA. So much for earning money. But idk, I'm past worrying about money. That's not really my priority now. Maybe later when I have a negative, which I hope won't ever happen again.

Study

Challenging. Gila. I don't know how or why. But I know that I can do it. I can right? Other people survived so I must!

Friends

Keep me sane, keep me warm, give me headache, shed my tears, bring out a smile, my key to survival. Sometimes, we don't have to say or show, we just know. I know that they know that I'm here, and they'll be right there.

Family

Blood. Love. Everything.

The thing that I miss the most. THE MOST.

I'm drained but with a smile. Selamat malam. Busy day & week ahead.

present

the only Engineering students in MSU

EE EE ME

Syamil Syue Azan

MSO in MSU

Oh yeah, that's about 98% of us.

• Eid celebration was fantastico!
• I meet a lot of new people since fall semester started
• Eta Kappa Nu. Alhamdulillah.
• Went to events that I was too shy to go to (Society of Women Engineering SWE, Muslim Students Associaton MSA) 
• Planning on going to a few new meetings (Eta Kappa Nu, IEEE, Friendship Family Orientation)
• Discovering new people, as mentioned
• Learning new stuff in class; difficult yet interesting
• Getting to know my friends in depth
• Given a good excuse to take and publish plenty of pictures
• Hoping that the Global Fest would be a blast
• Expecting a lot more new experiences for this semester!
• Too freaking busy to call home :( IMMA CHANGE THAT

Untitled

Hello I guess I'm back. lol. Back in the mood to write stuff about my not so dull life. I'm jobless & class-less. Just lazing around everyday, relaxing and brushing up on my cooking skills.

First of all, I'm gonna say this again, I had a lovely time with my friends in Kalamazoo, Iowa and Chicago. I miss them so much now and I'm glad I took plenty of pictures. I wish I have more pictures with family before I came here but then, I didn't have my baby camera yet back then.

Secondly, EL is what you would say a 'diam diam ubi berisi' place. It looks like a small peaceful town, where students go to school all the time but there's actually a lot more. There are friends, families, lovers, haters etc. People here share joy & laughter, go out, play sports, had a fight, shed tears together and you get the idea. All in all, there's not much that I can say, this is home, my second home.

Thirdly, I changed my blog title if you notice. It's because I don't think the objective of this blog is the same anymore. I used to write about me, my thoughts, expressions, stuff that I can't say out loud. But now I'm pretty much writing anything that crossed my mind and whenever I'm in a mood to write.

Lastly, just a little update about today. I went to the mall :D Was just accompanying Shereen to the at&t store. So she's a family now, yay. lol.

Till then, xx.

post finals blurbs

Sorry for not updating recently, been busy with finals and after that, been busy with.. LIFE :)

(How are you Syue?)

Life's treating me like an angel right now, yay!

Alhamdulillah, I'm done with final exams and results are out. Mine is, um, great I guess. Wish I did better but it's okay.

Things that I did after final exams are:

Get a hair cut. Oh yess, they're short now!

Get tons of sleep

Move in to my new two bedroom apartment :)

Went to Holland Michigan with AWESOME people and had a blast!

Baked with Abby <3

I'm currently at Abby's place because I still dont have an internet access in my new apartment and because my new house mate, Sadia is at her parents' place and I dont wanna sleep all alone. It's pretty creepy.

Will write more often insyaallah.

ps/ I miss my family so so so so much!

Queen of Spades

Take a good look at the her, a really good look at her. What do you think she demonstrates?

I'm assuming that she ran away from her glorious own castle which holds her as a prisoner since the day she was born. I also presume that she was nourished with too much fairy tales and happy endings till she forgets the taste of reality. And now, she's hoping that someone would save her, but guess what? Nobody's coming; she's just stuck there all alone. No prince charming nor a beautiful vampire. But I believe that she's smart; she's so much more than a pretty-faced Queen. She can't run away from what's done, but she can think.

I think I'm thinking too much, again.

"chill lah Syue"

I've been getting that approximately 197 times since the day that I left my home country. I think that what I'm feeling right now has nothing to do with my country. It has to do with people and me, myself, my head my thoughts, my irrational feelings.

I bought the $10.00 Skype credit (thanks Aida) because I hate football, because football takes up my family's whole weekend which equals to them not being able to stay at home and Skype with me which pisses me off. Screw football. It's just a game where 22 (mostly) hot-looking guys chasing after a ball, so? So anyway, this means that I'll be calling people back home when I'm free and when the time is right (due to the 13-hours time difference) yay!

So yeah, I'm not gonna complain any further. Haha.

Oh and to anybody who cares here are some updates about me. I miss you guys, update me as well. If I ever find out about anything that you guys didn't tell me while I'm away, siap korang! Haha, but seriously. Besides, facebook is free and everybody has one :)

1. My classes are going well and I've made friends.
2. Shopping here is cheap, during SALE and if you don't try to convert it.
3. My housemates are nice and people here are cool.
4. The only decent dish that I've cooked so far is tom yam, others are canned food and instant noodles.
5. I played basketball for rumah kuning for the MSO Sports Day yesterday and we won! #1 ;)
6. I'm gonna be Mahsuri for the Malaysian Cultural Night this March. My scene's pretty easy, all I have to do is talk a little and die ;)
7. I get homesick on daily basis so don't bother. Just let me be. haha.

So, that's it for now. Btw, I'm NOT the Queen of Spades that I was babbling about. Honest.